Who is my neighbour? - Dan Brotzel
Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Missing: Kooko, much-loved tabby cat - can you help??
Hi all, just to say that our 13-year-old tabby cat went missing the night before last. Hasn’t been seen since Tuesday 9pm. She’s normally a real homebody, rarely leaves the house or garden. She has brown and yellow markings in rough stripes across her back and a white patch on her back left leg. Collar says KOOKOO + our mobile but may have slipped off. We’re on the corner of Bodiam Road and Lincoln Drive. Please check your sheds and garages. She’s a much-loved family member and we’re very worried.
13 Sept - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help?
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Anyone recommend a plumber?
Can anyone recommend a local plumber who is reliable and won’t cost an arm and a leg? (Big ask I know!!) I have an issue with the programme settings on my combi boiler, which may or may not be connected to a weird howling noise that keeps emanating from the taps in the night. Well, I think it’s the taps – just when I think I’ve tracked down the source of the noise, it seems to have moved on to another part of the house...?
13 Sept - Castle View Estate - Tags: Trusted tradespeople | Can you help?
Don Hedley, Border Hill
Strip club or kebab shop?
Does anyone know the real purpose of the new “kebab shop” that’s opening on Stirling Lane, just to the left of the Old Wetherspoons? At least they *say* it’s going to be a kebab place, but the name is Meat On A Stick [sic] and the flyer I’ve got shows a pic of a scantily clad woman cavorting around a big slab of meat on what looks like some sort of S&M trapeze. (Looks a bit like the Purple Reins Sex Swing from Lovehoney.com, but how would I know). A friend with spies in the planning department tells me they’re applying for a licence for a bar upstairs. Is nowhere safe? Wonder if it would be a membership thing and how much men would be charged to indulge their peccadillos? All very tasteless advertising even if the rest is not true.
15 Sept - Border Hill - Tags: Local happenings | Opening and closing | Can you help?
> Eva Wilch, Lakes Estate
This is disgusting. I have two teenage daughters and in the age of #metoo it’s incredible that people (ie men) can still get away with this filth. Perhaps we could organise a RoundMyWay petition on here?
> Don Hedley, Border Hill
Well said Eva. Best option ahead of formal protest may be to attend the club or whatever incognito, perhaps do some secret filming and try to get a sense of the scale of the perversity involved. Not exactly pleasant, but happy to help out for the good of the community.
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Lol! Thanks for looking out for us Don! So sorry you have to put yourself through this, hope at least you get a decent bit of chilli sauce with your boner doner.
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Is Alexa sentient?
OK bit of a controversial headline, but I’m wondering whether this voice-activated tech has gone a bit too far?? About 3am this morning, I was violently woken from my slumbers to hear a high-pitched wailing sound. It was like a seagull in pain, or a baby being tortured. I grabbed my glasses, went next door and saw that the blue circle on my Amazon Echo Dot had lit up. The noises seemed to be coming from there. Opinions and thoughts please – especially if you have a background in tech.
16 Sept - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help? | Tech talk
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
I agree, automation has gone too far. Last night I was having a (not very serious) discussion with my hubby about the cost of insuring an oil tanker, and this morning my internet searches are full of ads for marine reinsurance software??
PS Yes – we do have an Alexa, though we’ve taken to whispering in her vicinity…
> Don Hedley, Border Hill
Hi – that’s so funny! Had the same thing last week. Was chatting about erectile dysfunction (in a purely academic sense) and next day there were ads for clinics all over my internet!!!
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Basil, did you not just think to unplug it? Don, sounds like you need a stick for your meat 😂😂😂
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
FatBeats I did! But that was the funny thing. I still heard noises after that, but more sort of muffled. Kind of like a sort of evil cackling and that sort of fiendish whispering sound that gets into the corner of your mind just when you’re trying to sleep, and you just know you’re going to have that nightmare about the face on the stairs again, you know?
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
You’ve lost me there, I’m afraid Basil. My nightmares are just the boring ones about losing teeth. What do your family say about all this??
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Mattress for sale
Double mattress available for collection. Lots of life left in it for the right couple.
16 Sept - Castle View Estate - Tags: Buying and selling | Can you help?
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Wow. Wasn’t this a Hemingway short story??
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Bright lights overhead – any ideas??
I was outside my house about 11pm last night, just fetching some bits from the garage. As I closed up, I heard a beeping sound above me and looked up to see what must have been a drone flying not far overhead. When I looked round I could see 8 or 10 more, all with little red and white lights flashing, all making little whirring and beeping noises. Anyone know what this is? Is it the police? Is it even legal?
18 Sept - Castle View Estate - Tags: Local happenings | Tech talk | Crime and safety | Can you help?
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Hi Basil, could be the police - we heard several helicopters again in the night, think it may be to do with that drugs bust down on Lewes Avenue last weekend?
> Don Hedley, Border Hill
It could also be a bunch of lads trying out their new early Xmas pressies! (Or ladies I suppose – don’t know why I assume blokes??) It seems odd that so many would be hovering over a single house like that. I do hope they weren’t trying to spy on you naked or anything like that!! I’ve accidentally captured a few bits of footage of people sunbathing in gardens with mine!!
> Paul Pond, Border Hill
Don’t want to scare the horses, but has it occurred to anyone that this could be thieves trying to find out whether your house is occupied, what your security system is like etc?? Apparently they can hack into your smartmeter and work out what time your lights go off and watch your telly and everything. I’ve woken up and found my telly on a different channel before. I have a mate in the Freemasons who met a guy from CID at one of their dos the other night, and he says thieves use drones to work out where the police are, so they can plan their night’s burglaries without fear of getting nicked. Also the army use them apparently to see if any illegals are living in outbuildings or growing hydroponics in lofts etc…
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Dude, the army don’t do the drug stuff!!
> Paul Pond, Border Hill
That’s not what I’ve heard. And I’ve got an uncle in the Sussex Rifles.
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
Drones are a modern-day curse. I don’t think you can legally shoot one down, alas. But you can shoot one down illegally quite easily, with a decent air rifle (!). FYI I read the principality of Monaco apparently hired a company to install a high-tech system to detect, monitor and block drones. This may be a bit beyond our budgets at the present time, but if the nuisance continues I’m sure the price of such things will come down. Perhaps we could crowdfund a defence system for our whole neighbourhood’s airspace? (Or at least the Castle View side.)
> Paul Pond, Border Hill
Talking to a guy last night who’s worked closely with Google, and he says what’s happening now is just the tip of the iceberg. They’ve got new tech that uses algorithms and predictive sentiment analysis to basically work out what we’re going to search for… before we even know it ourselves! It’s all gone way too far but who’s going to stop them. Not the politicians, that’s for sure, because Google have already got all the dirt on them from data surveillance, listening records, search history tracking etc. We’re screwed basically.
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Am guessing you’re not a Remainer, @Peter?
> Paul Pond, Border Hill
Plus Taylor Swift is using facial recognition on her fans now. She says it’s to detect stalkers, but I’ve heard it’s to spot anyone who’s not dancing around enough so she can ban them from future concerts.
> FatBeats, Border Hill
They’ll be sending bots to crawl our dreams next...👽👽😂
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Hi Basil, I’m in your road – a few doors up I think, and we didn’t hear anything at all. You don’t think it was your crazy Alexa again do you??!
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Do you really think so Dr FatBeats? That would explain so much
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
Not sure that it’s appropriate to speculate on other people’s politics, Eva, and pretty sure RoundMyWay isn’t the forum for it. But I’m glad at least that you find something to laugh at in the prospect of a once-great country resigning itself to loss of its sovereignty, its control over its own borders, and its right to trade freely with the whole world.
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Dude what u bin smokin !! 😂😂😂
Jo Kari, Castle View Estate
Fancy a makeover for party season? Yey!
Hi all – I’m Jo, I’m a qualified holistic beauty therapist and makeup artist with 14 years’ experience. I work out of my home beauty studio here in Selbourne Road, and as I’ve just joined RoundMyWay I wanted to let you all know that I have a few slots left in the run-up to Christmas. So if you fancy a session to get yourself ready for a big night out, or if you want some advice on a good look for the holidays, just give me a shout. Wardrobe consultancy and personal shopping consultations available too. For those of you who’d like to give the gift of beauty this Xmas, giftcards and ‘beauty season tickets’ are available too.
Nov 4 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Trusted tradespeople | Health and wellbeing | Buying and selling
Christine Allerby, Border Hill
Good to be alive
Hello fellow RoundMyWay-ers! This morning, I woke early, made myself an espresso, and stood outside on my patio in my dressing gown. The air had a bracing bite to it, a pretty pattern of crisscrossing con trails scored the sky-blue morning sky, birds chattered and buzzed, and next door’s water feature tinkled agreeably. And I suddenly thought that, here and now, in among all the doom and gloom about Brexit and Trump and climate change, the world is still an extraordinary place, and that it’s a blessing to be alive, just to have made it this far, to this day. So whoever you are, reading this, know that you are loved and forgiven. Cherish this very moment. Yes, you! And yes, this day! This moment!
And if you ever fancy a cuppa and a bit of company, you’ll always find a warm welcome at our coffee mornings in the church hall at St John the Evangelist, on Richmond Row. Don’t worry, no strings or funny talk – we’re just a bunch of folk living happily in the light of the Lord, who happen to do a fabulously frothy cappuccino for just £1.20. Hope to see you there one day!
Nov 6 - Border Hill - Tags: Local happenings | Health and wellbeing
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Anyone had rats?
Can anyone suggest a good rodent extermination company? I keep hearing scratching behind my walls and skirting boards. It’s worse at night. Lots of noise coming from Mother’s room.
Nov 9 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Trusted tradespeople
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
You need the RatLady. Can’t find her number to hand, but just google her – she’s got a website and she’s based somewhere local-ish like Cloud Park. She never lets me down yet!
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Thanks! Will try her. It’s getting to the point where I can still hear the noise even when I’m not in the house any more. It’s almost as if the rats were in my mind. Or maybe i
Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Can you mend my Pane??
Hi all, looking to get a cracked panel fixed in my infinity balustrade. Sorry to post about this a third time but original manufacturer has now gone into receivership and says they can’t legally recommend anyone else. Surely someone can replace? Have included picture this time.
Nov 12 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Trusted tradespeople | Can you help?
> FatBeats, Border Hill
‘Infinity balustrade’? 👀😖😖😖 - I think if you’d just said in the first place that you needed a new pane of glass for your little balcony wall, then people might have had a vague scooby what you were going on about! 😂😂😂
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
Ignore him! Double Bubble the glaziers should be able to help, Mary. They’re not the cheapest but they’re very versatile and take on all sorts of jobs. At least they’ll be able to tell you if it’s possible. Their work is always very sensitive to local fabric too. Have messaged you their details.
Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Please take my broken white goods away!
I have a broken extractor hood with motor intact, a dishwasher with a door that won’t seal, and a fridge-freezer with worn lining. All are yours for the taking if you can carry them away!
Nov 12 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help?
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Wow, you’re really selling them to us, Mary! 😂😂😂 Just leave them out the front like everyone else, and the men in white vans will come and take them.
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
I haven’t been through your way as yet today, Mary, but I do hope these items are not cluttering up the pavement? Contrary to the comment above, it is NOT advisable to leave things out for ‘men in white vans’ to pick up. They are unauthorised operatives who follow no health & safety guidelines and, once encouraged, will no doubt start ferreting around in bins, driveways and other people’s front gardens given half a chance. Please make use of the proper channels – that’s what our community charge is for!!
> FatBeats, Border Hill
One word, bro. Chillax. 😎💆
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
‘Chillax’ is not a word.
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Actually, bro, it is. 🙈🙇😉
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
I think I probably know more about what constitutes a word than someone who calls themselves FatBeats and can only truly express themselves via the medium of emoticons...
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Actually, bro, for your information I’m a postgrad researcher currently completing an MPhil in pragmatic philology at Birkbeck, so I have science on my side when I tell you that if you recognise a brief sequence of letters or sounds, and you have a pretty good idea of their communicative intent and context, then chances are you have a real word on your hands. Simply put, wordhood is constituted from the evolving consensus of a community of shared language users, not from some spurious appeal to logic or etymology or from any self-appointed cultural authority. And, to quote the excellent Johnson blog over at The Economist: ‘When people criticise non-words, it’s usually just a lazy way to criticise their users.’
Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
3 more car break-ins in one weekend!!!
Having discovered that my car was broken into and the sat nav stolen on Friday night, I’m appalled to report that I have since heard of three separate incidents in which cars have been broken into, or thefts attempted in the past 48 hours. Almost certainly Pikeys coming over from the fairground on Brookmans Common. Police utterly hopeless as usual.
Nov 6 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Local happenings | Crime and safety
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Dude, not cool
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Very sorry to hear your news, Peter. But to expand on what I take to be FatBeats’ point, could I ask that you refrain from using the word ‘Pikey’?? It’s generally considered to be quite offensive and, in all fairness, we don’t know who the perpetrators of any of these incidents were – or, indeed, if they were all connected.
Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
PVC or aluminium?
Does anyone know of an affordable supplier of bay windows? The original French-style wooden frames we have are very elegant but not very exactly draught-proof. Thinking about PVC or aluminium replacements but obviously concerned about the look. Has anyone done this recently? Could you recommend someone?
Nov 12 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help? | Trusted tradespeople
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
PLEASE. DO. NOT. FIT. PVC!!! Insensitive window installations have already been a massive plight on the whole aesthetic heritage and character of this whole estate. Please do not add to the problem!!!
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Tempted to suggest PVC just to annoy Peter F, as he’s clearly so obsessed about it. But actually they do look a bit icky. Btw, @Peter, did you mean ‘blight’? I’m sure ‘plight’ is a word too though. 😉😉
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Can anyone recommend windows that stop people seeing in? (Or out?)
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Omg, are you the bloke who walks round checking that people’s building works are in keeping with your idea of what’s in keeping with the character of the neighbourhood? The self-appointed clipboard man? There’s a word for people like you. 😨
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
I think ‘A Good Neighbour’ is the phrase you’re looking for.
> Christine Allerby, Border Hill
Interesting thread – make me think of that New Testament quote, ‘And who is my neighbour?’ (Luke 10:29). A lot of people think that Jesus spoke these words, but in fact this was a question that was put to Jesus by ‘an expert in the law’ (Luke 10:25), in order to test Him out. Jesus’ reply, of course, was the Parable of the Good Samaritan, a perfect response that is as eloquent and resonant today as ever it was – especially here on RoundMyWay!
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Holy trolls Batman! 🔱🔱😶🙏
> FatBeats, Border Hill
@Peter that wasn’t the phrase I was thinking of. It’s slipped my mind for the moment but if it comes back to me I’ll let you know when I see you next Tuesday.😜
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
What is happening next Tuesday? Is there a neighbourhood committee meeting? I wasn’t informed.
> FatBeats, Border Hill
<This post has been blocked for inappropriate content>
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Can anyone recommend an exorcist?
MEND mY PAiiNn??
Nov 14 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Trusted tradespeople
> Jo Kari, Castle View Estate
Hi Basil, as well as practising holistic beauty therapy, I am also a chartered spiritual healer, affiliated with the International Council of Mind:Body:Spirit Healers. We don’t believe in exorcism as such, as we understand demons and other unwanted spirits to be blockages in your aetheric aura caused by unresolved thoughts and feelings from previous lives, but I’m sure I could help.
I’d suggest an initial aura-cleansing massage, followed by a programme of deep-tissue past-life bodywork. Sounds like it might be easier if I came to you? The initial consultation session is free, and I can talk you through the rates after that. It’s obviously very specialised work, and insurance won’t touch this I’m afraid, but the benefits in terms of psychic resolution and whole-soul liberation will leave you so much richer in other ways. Just pop me a DM, darling, and we can make a start!
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Can’t recommend Jo highly enough! She helped me out with both of my pregnancies, and as well as soothing aching muscles and dispelling anxiety, I learnt some valuable life lessons and philosophies that have stood me in good stead in all sorts of areas of my life. A truly healing and empowering experience! (Jo just paste in and edit if too gushing/not gushing enough)
> Don Hedley, Border Hill
Very intrigued by the bodywork angle Jo! Are there any videos or demos I could take a look at? Would be good to apply some of that deep-tissue work on my blockage.
> Christine Allerby, Border Hill
Let me tell you a story. ‘When Jesus arrived on the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, He was met by two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs. They were so violent that no one could pass that way... In the distance a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, “If You drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.” “Go!!” He told them. So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and perished in the waters...’
Powerful stuff, no? Many people are surprised to learn that the Church of England – with which, as Pentecostal Evangelicals, we are fully allied – does still practise exorcism today. And you’ll be delighted that our very own Reverend Tony Simming was recently designated Minister of Deliverance for our diocese (by the Bishop himself no less!) I’ve shared your details with Tony, and he is praying on your situation, awaiting the discernment of the Lord as to the best next step. However, to make sure that this is indeed a genuine case of possession (and not, say, epilepsy or homosexual panic, as can happen), he asks if you have experienced at least 3 of the following:
Strange visions, for instance of unexplained lights or voices in your head
A feeling that others can read your mind, or that you can read theirs
A feeling of rage or deep anxiety when you pass a church
A sudden reluctance to cook with salt (Satan hates salt)
An urge to watch horror movies or listen to thrash metal
Seeking knowledge through bogus spiritual practices such as astrology, osteopathy or Indian head massage
An obsession with Love Island, sexual promiscuity or Asian food
An urge to hurt animals, especially livestock
In the meantime, stay calm, keep praying, and have the Bible always with you. If you fancy dropping in for a coffee at St John’s one morning this week, we can let you have a vial of holy water too – something else Satan hates!
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
So sorry
I am most heartbroken to report that I ran over a cat this morning. The cat, which is a sort of tabby colour with a white foot, seemed quite elderly and manky and confused, and backed out into the road unseen from behind the tyre of a parked car. I had no warning at all, there was no time to do anything. I’m so sorry. I have the remains – if this is your animal, please contact me privately through the site and accept my most heartfelt condolences.
Nov 15 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help? I Local happenings
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Oh this is so sad all round. It sounds like my neighbour Eva’s cat. I will go round and see her if she hasn’t heard the news. And it must have been very traumatic for you too Basil – it sounds like you couldn’t have done anything about it.
Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Mail received in error
Through my door this morning I’ve received a bundle of letters addressed to a Ms Veronique Werter. The letters are airmailed and seem quite old; no one to my knowledge has ever lived here of that name (and we’ve been here since the late 80s!!). Can anyone shed any light on this mystery?
Nov 16 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help?
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Ooh Eva! Perhaps you should open them and see what they say – could be inspiration for another of your wonderful cozy mysteries! (How is the writing going by the way??)
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Torment me not, Eva Wilch = Evil Witch! You know full well that Veronique Werter was my mother’s maiden name. Those letters were to her gnostic priest and confessor, Monsignor Lafayette, and have not left the room in which she died since I locked it 17 years ago. Those letters contain the secrets of her work with the White Knights of Avalon, and were not to be read by anyone, not ever her son, except in extremis. Yesterday, with the demons closing in, I did break the seal of her chamber at last, to seek out their wisdom... only to find her drawer broke into and the contents missing!! Oh how I could have done with their wisdom in this, my hour of darkest need! Again and again I bid you leave me, Evil Witch, but still I hear your voice in my Dyson!! Oh chillax, my infinite balustrade!
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Dude, the White Knights of Avalon… Were they like a prog rock outfit?? Or is this like the KKK??
> Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
There’s a guy on Lancaster Way who’s an absolute genius with broken hoovers. Tiny little place, easy to miss. He’s been there years.
> Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
Basil, I have to confess that I haven’t the faintest clue what you’re talking about! But I’m glad to find a home for these letters, which I have of course left unopened. If you can DM me your address I’ll pop them round this afternoon. Is yours by any chance the house with the giant statue of the Virgin in the front garden, next to that six foot quartz grotto thing that sits in a cloud of incense under all those windchimes??
> Peter Fenster, Castle View Estate
Basil, is that your place? I noticed your new additions to the frontal area on one of my recent rounds, and I did wonder if we might have a word? I’m all for freedom of religious expression (up to a point) but I do think you have to respect the local cultural and aesthetic norms, which are very well established and have been built up over several decades. And to be frank, the red crosses sprayed over all your doors and windows are an especial eyesore.
Jo Kari, Castle View Estate
Mindful hypno-zen birthing
Hi all, back by popular demand… my courses for expectant mums (and dads) start again in January. If you’re anxious about the birth, or just fancy a bit of soothing me-time, I’ll be covering: transformational foetal massage, pre-partum confidence building, empowered embryo visualisations and – for single mums – the ever-popular Dad Detox! First session free when you sign up for six or more. See my website for full details.
Nov 19 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Health & wellbeing
> Don Hedley, Border Hill
Sounds like a very interesting range, Jo! Can single dads attend?? (Only joking) If I had a good lady wife, of course, I’m sure we would be working hard to get to a point where we would be in a position to, as it were, avail herself of your holistic ministrations. (wink wink!)
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Nay lady succubus! The demons whinny at my gate, but they shall not impregnate me! Never will they violate me with their seed! I shall not bring forth the evil French-style child! My womb is sealed with finest Pikey aluminium!
Eva Wilch, Castle View Estate
You mad cat murderer
Basil, you heartless batshit-crazy fucked-up cat killer! I’ve just realised with was you who murdered Kookoo. And how dare you suggest she was manky and not with it!! She was a fine-looking animal and perfectly alert last time we saw her!! As co-admin of this forum, I must inform that your membership status is now under review.
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
In my defence, I was ordered to make a sacrifice, and an ageing animal like this, that was already suffering from memory loss, probably made for a much less controversial target than other options, animal and human, that I considered. The voices were very clear; hopefully they will vacate my mindspace now. Perhaps they will move on to yours. In which case, God help you.
Mary Tomkinson, Castle View Estate
Pair of glasses found on Stepney Street
A pair of specs were sitting on top of a post box in Stepney Street, as I went past yesterday morning (Tuesday). Tortoiseshell frames, probably a man’s? Perhaps dropped out of someone’s pocket as they were leaning over to post something?? As they were still there when I returned a couple of hours later, I have taken them with me for safekeeping. DM me via the site if they’re yours.
Nov 21 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Can you help?
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Mine eyes ! Mine eyes! Cover mine eyes in deep-tissue PVC!! Consult my wardrobe! Extract my hood! Unblock my previous lives! But… meet not the gaze of the giant Torture Tortoise!!
> Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
Dude, you sound like a bot! 💫👾👺
Basil Delpierre, Castle View Estate
A sign at last!!
After the storms last night, I awoke to find a large visitant on my lawn. A giant aquamarine scallop shell, clearly a sign from Saint James of Compostela that God has heard my prayers and his saints are working to intercede on my behalf. Praise be! (Image attached)
James, the brother of Jesus, was persecuted and killed in the Holy Land for preaching about his brother. After he died his remains found their way to Galicia, in northern Spain. As the ship carrying James got close to the shore, legend has it that a horse with a young man on his back panicked and rode headlong into the sea. But by a miracle, man and horse were saved, and emerged from the waves covered in scallop shells – still to this day, the sacred symbol of all pilgrims who walk the way of St James to his shrine at Santiago de Compostela.
Having ridden on the back of a crazed demon, and feared for my life in the swelling waters of madness and possession, now I too emerge at last on the scallop-strewn shores of health and holiness. Hallelujah!
Nov 27 - Castle View Estate - Tags: Health & Wellbeing
> FatBeats, Border Hill
Hate to crash your vibe, dude, but that pic you’ve got there is one of those little plastic pond liners. 😹😹😹
Originally published in Brotzel’s short story collection, Hotel du Jack, 2020
Dan Brotzel's books include a novel, The Wolf in the Woods (Bloodhound Books) and a memoir, Awareness Daze (WF Howes) -- an account of his attempt to observe a different awareness day or fake holiday every single day for a year!
Twitter: @brotzel_fiction | Medium: danielbrotzel.medium.com | Sign up for an occasional newsletter
