Out-of-Office Poem - Daniel Rortvedt

i.

Thank you for your message. I will be out of sage by September. I will be without dust. Unfortunately, I left my coat in New York and will not return until noon. The roses are gone & your message is important to me. I’ll reply as soon as Lake Superior replenishes itself, as soon as Daylight Savings. I’ll respond through the wormhole we left southern Utah in 2008. I will be delayed in reading this and this and that and that. I will return to you,

ii.

Hello and thank you for your email. I’ll respond here first. We have considered your message. We are receiving it this same time next year. We have not forgotten. It all moves so slow, that’s the secret,

iii.

Greetings, you have found me asynchronously. Thank you for reaching out. Here I am in some capacity elsewhere. Sincerely. What happens between now and then,

iv.

Hi, there. I’m out of the office at the moment. To some degree we’re all on vacation here, metaphysically speaking. Appreciatively yours. Respectfully yours. Repetitively yours. Apologetically yours. I’ll reply real soon,

v.

Hey! Between March 1st-14th I’ll be unconditionally devoted to your work. Really sinking my teeth in. I’ll be here & I’ll be there, you can count on it. I’ll have limited connectivity to give. Thank you for your patience during this time. Until then,

vi.

Dearest colleague, thank you for your patience with my reply while the internet is downstairs and I’m in the kitchen. My computer is on fire. If your message is urgent, please. We haven’t had rain or rain or rain in weeks.

Originally published in segments on Twitter (X) @thisdjr

Daniel Rortvedt’s poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in Houseguest, Lunch Ticket, JAKE, word west revue, and elsewhere. Daniel is founding editor of Vilas Avenue (VilasAvenue.com). ​​He lives in the Midwestern United States with his wife and children