A Song of Life As the Sum of All Parts - Andreea Ceplinschi
I watched a seven-minute video of a death by shooting:
the executioners had taken off the top half of the convicted man’s head
and kept firing at it
while his lower jaw gurgled for air in a gasping half-motion.
Life is relentless when you wish it quit.
My mother’s fake teeth are in a pink case on the bathroom shelf,
the wig in the bedroom closet.
She could wear a good face, but a steady voice didn’t hide
the coffee spit back into the cup, unable to swallow.
I keep those memories too.
I fear that one forgetness would cut down the length of her song,
that a polished shine would erode the complete.
She was sickness too: ugly, undignified, impatient for the end,
the smell of rising dough in our sunny kitchen and the undeserved slap
I never forgave,
she lived in the star carvings on our apartment oak door
until father took it off its hinges for hurting too much,
she was nights in a freezing hospital room where life kept saying not yet,
she was lungs filling up with dark water while life kept saying hang on,
she was her mother changing her diaper one more time,
her husband lifting her out of the tub like wedding vows:
you better love the shit out of your someone
because one day you might have to wipe it
the chorus circling down, raptor-like.
She’s a whole song of splendor and rot, lyrics that buckle, snap, and fall
into place, and I have to remember it all:
how life isn’t fragile,
how life holds on mercilessly.
Originally published by Prometheus Dreaming 2019, finalist of the Prometheus Unbound 2019 poetry prize
Andreea Ceplinschi is a Romanian immigrant writer, waitress, and kitchen troll living and working at the tip of Cape Cod. She writes poetry, fiction, and creative non-fiction. Her work has been featured or is forthcoming in Solstice Literary Magazine, Cathexis Northwest Press, Hare's Paw Literary Journal, The Blood Pudding, Wild Roof Journal, The Quarter(ly) Journal, and elsewhere. When not writing for herself, she volunteers for Passengers Journal. Find out more about her at poetryandbookdesign.com
